Life's Little Eye Openers

It’s amazing to me how just when you think you can’t go any further in life, something happens.  It’s something that makes your eyes open a little wider, your heart beat a little faster, your breathing gets a little steadier.  It could be anything, a song on the radio, a phone call from a friend, a little piece of Heaven here on Earth.  It also amazes me that our little gift doesn’t come until we hit that point of return.  That spot in our heart that is so deep and dark that even we may not have known that it existed.  I have asked (more like screamed at the top of my lungs) WHY?  I have prayed through tears and pain needing only a reprieve from the life I was living…and it wasn’t until I reached my breaking point that my little miracle appeared.

I say all this now because I had yet another “eye opener” recently.  I run from things, it’s the most effective way that I have found to cope (aside from writing).  I’ve had my heart ripped from my chest, destroyed and then handed back to me…nearly lifeless and barely beating.  (The subject of which will be a blog of its own very soon.)  Remembering this feeling has caused me to run like a cheetah that hasn’t eaten for a week after its prey.  I sabotage anything close to a relationship before it even starts.  This has been the story of my life for almost two years (it wasn’t much better before that).  Now I have landed upon someone who scares the very breathe out of me and I’m ready to run.  I’ve been fighting with myself having only a few friends to play my conscience telling me to keep my feet planted this time.  Of course, I haven’t been doing a good job of listening…until yesterday, when I was reminded once again of how short life is.  I think of the angel that heaven gained yesterday and how hard she fought to live a happy and full life.  I think of the hand she was dealt, to battle cancer at such a young age.  I think of all the angels heaven has gained in my lifetime and those that are still fighting.  And I wonder…what would I regret?  I know how ugly regret feels and it isn’t something I’d like to feel again.  Yet, I still make the decision to run from what may hurt me.  Is that living life to the fullest?  I don’t know that I believe the saying “it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.”  Until you have truly lost love, you won’t know either. 

So if you can love, love with your whole heart.  Remember that life changes in the blink of an eye and nothing should be taken for granted.  Take today to look at the good in your life and say “Hello World, how you been?”  (borrowed from Lady Antebellum)

Dedicated to the memory of Britni…may you smile upon us from Heaven!